As far back as I can remember, I had dreams of a man who was my best friend, confidant, and spiritual match. Although I could never see his face, I knew his essence and could hear his voice. I wrote poems about this man for years after waking from very lucid dreams. When life got tough, lonely or seemingly unbearable, I would stare up at Orions Belt and pray for him. I’d pray he was real, that God was taking care of him. I prayed that he was happy, healthy and that he would find me. .” There were times in the beginning of a relationship I thought I had possibly met the man from my dreams. I quickly found out I was wrong, the men I had met weren’t even close to the one from my dreams. After years of dreaming and praying for a man that never appeared, I gave up. I convinced myself that he wasn’t real, that he couldn’t possibly exist. I stopped writing poetry about him, I stopped believing in “the one.” I promised God I would continue fulfilling my life purpose and help others. I decided that I was more than capable of living a joyful life without a partner. My life is already blessed with children, animals, friends, family and amazing clients. Knowing I have so much more than others, allowed me to be grateful and release the desire to have a lifelong partner or find my soulmate.
At 48 years old, I’ve had more relationships than I care to count. I’ve been married, divorced and danced through my share of romantic partners. I’ve done coaching and psychic readings for thousands of clients looking for love, searching for their soulmate. In the last 30 years, I’ve experienced every type of relationship dance imaginable. From dysfunctional, unhealthy partners to decent, loving partners who just weren’t “the one.” Through each relationship, I learned something about myself, something about the other person and the nature of love as well as human psychology. Even though some relationships were hard, I grew in my ability to be patient, tolerant, loving and kind. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve certainly gotten better at taking responsibility for my own actions, but it wasn’t always that easy. As a young woman in my 20s and 30s, I manipulated men to get my own needs met. Although I was fairly conscious, I was still growing spiritually. Each relationship was a lesson, a lesson I learned and a lesson I imparted. After years of lessons in love, I developed a set of beliefs that I thought were true. Most of the beliefs were true about the wrong partner. I would quickly find out those beliefs didn’t apply to the right partner.
Not 2 months before my 47th birthday I met “the one.” With more than a few strange coincidences, the man in my dreams appeared. I’d like to say I recognized him immediately, but I can’t. I had some pretty intense walls built when we first met. I was willing to meet him, hang out and be friends, but I certainly didn’t expect to find my soulmate. In a couple short weeks of meeting, our connection grew strong. Our phone conversations would last 5 to 6 hours a stretch. It was as if time no longer existed when we spoke. Each conversation was different, we never lacked interesting topics. Due to previous work commitments we weren’t able to spend much time together in person the first couple of weeks. Once we did spend time together, a miraculous adventure began.
The first time I looked into his eyes, I saw visions of light, felt pure emotions of love and beauty. There was no question in my mind that this man was special. The connection between us was on a spiritual level that I could not comprehend with another human. Sure I’ve had connections in the subtle realms like it, but nothing on the 3 dimensional plane. When we talked about how natural it felt that first time we held each other, Spirit was whispering the word “home.” I tried to ignore it, but it kept getting louder and louder. Eventually I told him, “I have to say this since they are yelling in my ears, I keep hearing the word home.” Right away he said, “recognition.” And that very phrase, “home recognition” summed up what we both had been searching for our entire lives. If you’ve ever had a feeling of being home with God, a sense of being back in the Garden of Eden or place of creation, you know what I’m talking about. Anyone else would have called me crazy or questioned what it meant. Instead, this man completed the message.
In the last 4 months, we’ve experienced intense spiritual, as well as emotional breakthroughs both individually and together. I can’t say the first few months were easy, they were anything but that. Both of us had to face our most intimate fears of commitment, intimacy and love. Our self doubts, self worth and fear-based beliefs came up repeatedly until we faced them together. Our egos roared and past unconscious patterns tried to take over. We seemed to trigger each other in every way imaginable. There were times I thought we wouldn’t make it through it. Our honeymoon phase only lasted a couple of weeks before we were pushed to grow, learn and communicate through lifelong issues. Thankfully we are both conscious and have spent our lives growing spiritually. Both of us have a strong commitment to serving God and fulfilling our spiritual purpose in this life. Even so, there were certainly times when we both wanted to run from perceived ego threats.
At this point, having overcome the initial intense lessons, the love between us is something I never imagined possible. There is a freedom in being authentic, and loving from a pure place. There is an energy that is so powerful it takes us both by surprise. Our connection to each other is heightened by our connection to God/Source energy. We can feel the other’s emotions, know what the other needs. There are times when we connect physically that seems to alter reality altogether. The best way I can describe it is to compare it to being on drugs. Time is irrelevant, fear disappears and the spiritual vibration is so high you can see it. The presence we both experience with each other from a heart space is unfathomable until you get to experience it yourself.
I didn’t write this to brag about how blessed I am. I want to share the possibility that exists when you finally connect with the one you are meant to be with to fulfill your life purpose. It is within this relationship that I not only feel I am closer to God, I know that anything is possible. It is within this love I can truly be authentic, vulnerable, and real. I’ve had a great love in my life in the past, but nothing close to the unconditional love I have with my true soulmate. Some people would call this a “twin flame” relationship and maybe their right. I don’t know what to label it except, Divine. I truly know what the meaning of “what God puts together, no one can tear apart.” No matter what hell I’ve walked through in past heartbreaks, disappointments and unhealthy relationships, it was all worth it. Knowing my past prepared me for this sacred relationship has healed me. If you are in a soulmate type of relationship but not “the one” don’t give up. We have to grow, build a strong foundation and be ready for the work in order to hold such a sacred love with divine reverence and respect.
Blessings of love,
Bernadette Dickinson (c)2015 all rights reserved
Feel free to share but give proper credit, no unauthorized use is permitted without Author's permission.
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