Attending Catholic school, church and bible study had me stuck in a world of confusion. My world felt like one which I had to hide from others to maintain the sanctity that was communion with God. I was able to see spirits, angels, guides and energies. No one else around me seemed to be aware of it. Either I was crazy or they were. I didn't feel safe in the world, I didn't feel like I belonged. I had many confirmations of that in the abuse I experience at home, in school and on the playground. My gifts allowed me to communicate with unseen helpers that protected me, guided me and warned me. They taught me about animals, taught me about love and even though no one else could see them, they were always there with me. It was our little secret, my private world that was perfect as long as no one found out.
Sometimes I would know things I shouldn't. I kept that a secret too. In the earthly realms I was clearly an outsider, even in my home. In the other realms, I was accepted, loved, protected and whole. It caused a great deal of conflict for me. I didn't like daily life, I liked what others referred to as my “imaginary world”. Years later I would learn that was more real than anything most people get to experience as humans. Society programs about wealth, stability, security, expectations made it more than difficult to fit in. I was good at playing roles though. I was good at getting good grades and remaining invisible. As long as I performed my duties as expected, I didn't bring attention to myself. Unfortunately, I was attractive to those of the opposite sex. I got attention when I didn't want it. I spent most my time with horses, dogs and on the beach. Those places felt safe when I wasn't forced to work a job I hated. When I was able to go into nature, spend time with animals or sit on the beach, I was able to draw on the unseen realms with ease. They nurtured me, sustained me and continued to teach me. I avoided so many accidents, unfortunate circumstances by using my connection to Spirit. I still hid my abilities from others, the Christian church said it was demonic and wrong. I never felt that, nor did I ever feel judged when I was working with Spirit. Humans however were full of judgment, ready to squash any connection with Spirit outside of the church leadership. I began to question everything I was taught in school, church and home. Luckily, Spirit was more than happy to teach me the true meaning behind scriptures and kept me apart in my understanding. I learned that Love is God and Fear is separation from God. I learned that my gifts were special and were meant to help.
Even though I wasn't able to share my gifts with others until my mid twenties, I have come to accept they have a purpose. One that, when allowed, can bring forth Divine love, inspiration and healing. Maybe I was psychic when it wasn't cool but I still remember a lot of people can't accept what they don't understand. I still protect my gifts from those who will try to villainize it. It's a work in progress to be able to share it without being used, without being judged and without fear. Each day I learn something new about myself, my abilities and others. I teach others how to tune into their own gifts and hold them as sacred. I teach others how to trust in Divine guidance no matter what they were taught in this world. We will see more and more people begin to crave that connection to God. It's not that I'm special, these gifts require a great deal of sacrifice. It's not up to me to question God's gifts, if he can use a jackass to deliver a message, he can surely use me.
If you are drawn to develop your gifts, check out my upcoming classes. http://www.bernadettedickinson.com/work-with-me.html
(c) 2015 Bernadette Dickinson