Business owners and executives often call to get practical insight into issues affecting their projects and ventures. Sometimes, when a team of people are pulling in different directions, projects gets derailed. Smart business people call for insight into these issues, to avoid conflict and to insure success.
I spoke with a client that was really concerned about being put in the middle of a dispute between husband and son in their family biz. I love the guidance Spirit provided and it's helpful for everybody, even if you're not in business.
Rather than trying to "fix" the dispute and get them to agree, I advised her to listen carefully at the upcoming board meeting, validate each one's points and remind them that they all wanted the same thing. In validating each person's desires and opinions, seeking further clarification, we allow the "problem" to dissipate and solutions with compromise to emerge.
The "lesson" for my client, as for many, is to get out of the "fix it" mode. You can only fix your own issues, not another persons. Rather than looking at something one-sided, be open to all perspectives. Having firm boundaries about that will go far in allowing you to remain detached and objective.
Everyone has a valid point, opinion and desire. When we honor and validate someone, we actually offer incredible energy for peaceful solutions. This doesn't mean we agree, it means we are hearing them. Sometimes that is all it takes. Besides, we all just want to be heard. Once we feel heard, we are more willing to compromise. Don't get pulled into disputes, instead listen, validate, clarify and look for compromise.
Rather than creating a tug-of-war where no one wins, focus on the desired outcome. Let each individual express their point of view, opinion and solution. If you are in a team meeting, have someone record each solution on a board, visible to all. Once all the options are visible, creative solutions are available. This works within families, groups and even couples.
Guidance from Spirit is useful, applicable and helpful in all circumstances.
(c)2015 Bernadette Dickinson all rights reserved