Spirit showed me a tomato plant. Quickly the tomato plant went from thriving, full of fruit, to dying back at the end of the season. The message was indicative that this relationship was a short lived endeavor. Much like the tomato plant, it gave fruit but instead of red, juicy fruit, it only provided green, un-ripened tomatoes. Now that plant had reached the end of its cycle. The stalk and leaves were degrading, turning brown. There is no point in grieving the end of the cycle. There is only to till it under and accept that its cycle is complete.
Another metaphor Spirit provided was that of a dog chained to a tree. That this relationship was represented by that feeling you have when you see a dog living its life on a long chain tied to a tree. Sure the owners give it food and water but its life is solely experienced in the perimeter allowed by the chain. The owners give it very little attention, love and never let if off the chain. When I see a dog like that, I wonder why the owners even bother having a pet. Is it for the sake of saying they own a dog? Is it a novelty? Much like the dog tied to a tree, I saw this woman in the position of that dog. Her boyfriend was putting very little effort into keeping the relationship alive, although did what he had to, albeit minimally, in order to keep it or her around. Apathetic was the word Spirit provided to describe her boyfriend. There was no one to blame, there was only choices to be made.
The client could choose to remain chained to a relationship that had run its course. She could do as many others, hoping, praying, wishing and trying to get the relationship to feel like it did originally when the masks of illusion were present. Or the client could choose to accept what is and release the relationship with no blame, no grieving and no loss and without delay. As I do at the end of every gardening season, you bury the seeds put forth from the tomato plant and cut it back, knowing it will be reborn anew in the Spring. You don’t grieve the fact that the plant has reached the end of this cycle. You release it, you bury it and you continue living.
It’s a sad fact that people project a mask or illusion when they first meet a potential partner. That mask is charming, seductive and promises to fulfill your desires, as well as needs. Once the relationship has been established, a commitment made, the mask begin to fade. The illusion disappears and what remains is truth. It’s tempting to ignore the truth, the obvious representation before you in lieu of the illusion you built hopes into. Ignoring the truth will not help change the situation. You can either accept what is, without expecting it to change or you disentangle yourself from it and let it go. If you choose to let it go, simply accept this isn’t what you want or need. Don’t judge it. Don’t make your partner a villain. Just release that person and know that there is a season for everything.
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