I was really proud of myself, as I am every year when I finish the spreadsheet with all of my expenses. But once I was with her, I became anxious. The amount I owe isn't really a surprise, I had already estimated accurately. Knowing that I have until April 18th to pay it however, created anxiety.
With the economic downturn, my business has definitely been adversely affected. Like everyone else, I've had to do more for less. I am however grateful for the many blessings self-employment affords me. Sometimes, my human side/ego blinds me to the miracles abundantly available to us.
So I came home a bit crabby, stressed and overwhelmed. My Dad asked how much I owed and I found myself snapping "I don't want to talk about it". In that instant I knew I needed to release my anxiety and anger. I began meditating on the knowing "there is enough in the universe for all of us". I listened to some affirmations and started visualizing all debts being paid in full with plenty of money left over.
Today, I woke up intent on having a positive day. I focused on the things I'm grateful for today and all the blessings I have around me and in my life. I slipped a few times, kicking myself for "knowing better" then to stress out. Then I balanced my checking account and somehow, I have enough money to pay my bills due this week. I chuckled, looked up and thanked the Universe for the blessings of always having enough.
Sometimes it's hard to overcome our human tendency to worry about tomorrow. It's not a big deal though, refocus and get back into the moment. Most of the time we realize that in this very moment, the worries we are carrying are not actualized in our reality. The more we focus on NOW the more power we have to create a better next moment, next day, next month and so on.
I'm human too, yes I should know better, I've been through more trying times and made it out just fine. I know many of you are faced with the same challenges. It's important we stay focused on what we have that we are grateful for and more will be added. As we love ourselves, one another and All That Is, we stand in the most powerful energy of creation, abundance and joy available.
So be thankful for the ability to pay your bills, even if it's 1 bill at a time. Be grateful for everything you see, feel and are blessed with. When times are tough and doubt creeps in, write out affirmations over and over! It really does wonders to shift your energy to a much higher place. Meditate and ask to see the opportunities to manifest your needs, desires and wishes.
Stay in the moment, the second you are in right now, from there you have power to create.
Bernadette Dickinson (c) 2012