by Bernadette Dickinson
When we are hurt by another, wronged unjustly, our ego's want to shout it from the rooftops. We want to defend ourselves, right the wrong. We are tempted to plead our case to anyone and everyone who will listen. What does this really accomplish? Does it give you peace? Does it make you feel better? Does it garner support?
The internal drive to defend is one of ego. It does not make us feel better to plead our case before the masses. In fact, the words you speak are keeping the very hurt you were defending against, alive. It is giving power to that which hurt you in this present moment.
Rather than speak out about the injustice, the experience, go within and close your mouth. The words you speak create or destroy. Is it worth destroying another person in an effort to build yourself up? When you remain silent, you rob the power from the very thing that hurt you. It is far better to say nothing and process this hurt through prayer, meditation, journaling or counseling with a trusted advisor.
Sometimes we want to speak out against the hurt from another to inflict that hurt onto them. This too is a tool of the ego. We can justify it all we want, but our perception is limited, skewed and not necessarily the truth. By speaking out in defense of yourself, what have you gained? If you are telling the story of being victimized in great detail, you are remaining a victim. Instead, try to remain silent and speak of the future you are creating instead of the past you are escaping. For in this space, there is strength in silence.
Those who believe the stories other's weave about you may depart your life. Be willing to release them without defending yourself. Be willing to surrender the need for control by remaining silent. When you remain silent, you maintain your peace, your kindness and your compassion. The hurt will eventually go away as you no longer think about it, speak about it and you finally release it.
One of the best modalities for releasing the emotions tied to hurt is to use EFT/Tapping either by yourself or with a skilled professional. Each time you tap on the very things you are upset about, you release emotional energy from your body and discharge the power of those emotions in your mind. Journaling is another great way to process your hurt in a constructive, enlightening way. As you journal, you are dumping the data from the hurt onto a page, external to you. After you journal, burn the paper and release the hurt. Next, focus on what you are creating from the lessons learned in the hurtful experience. Write in your journal very specific details of what you are becoming, creating and experiencing. As you put more focus on the present moment and on what you are consciously creating, the past loses it's power to affect you.
If you would like to process using EFT/Tapping or want to dive deep into what you are stuck on, arrange a clarity call so we can figure out the best way to work together.
(c) 2015 all rights reserved Bernadette Dickinson
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