When Loren and I first met, I was overscheduled with little free time. I was in the middle of book edits, teaching workshops and doing 1 on 1 sessions. I had to be in Los Angeles for a marketing workshop the week after we met in person. Once I returned from Los Angeles, not only did the sparks fly, everything was a whirlwind. Things between us were moving at the speed of light. We exchanged endless ideas about business, helping others and life. It was if we had always been together. Things were moving so quickly we were both beginning to feel anxious about our feelings. As our conversations deepened, so did the issues and fears we both held about ourselves and love. We shared our past relationship histories, childhoods and everything in between. Both of us had fears of intimacy, abandonment and commitment. As our love deepened, so did our questions about each other.
A pattern of spending weekends together quickly formed, so did what we refer to as “Monday.” Each Monday we parted ways after a weekend of deep connection on every level imaginable. Loren had a 2 hour drive to work on Mondays which gave him plenty of time to think. His rational mind began to question how real I was, how real our relationship was. I still had big walls up, ones I never let down. I held secrets within me about my feelings that I shared with no one. My closest friend knew a lot of my secrets, but not all. Loren felt I was hiding things from him, he could feel there were things I wasn’t telling him. He wasn’t sure I was capable of being vulnerable, something he absolutely needed from a partner.
Prior to meeting, both of us were on a spiritual path. We had endured painful lessons, heartbreak and lessons in faith. We both trusted God without question, we didn’t however trust the nature of humanity. I had been through relationships with every imaginable personality type. I’d been with narcissists, sociopaths, abusers and normal guys who were unconscious or asleep. I had given up on finding someone on my level spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. I imagined if I met my soulmate things might be challenging, but I had no idea of the internal work ahead of me.
In previous relationships, I had always kept my work separate from my relationship. Being a psychic had little to no impact on my partners. In this relationship, everything I am and everything I do is part of it. I hadn’t considered the depth of difficulty it was to date a psychic. It escaped me that Loren was struggling with it. I had already demonstrated my abilities in a session with one of his clients. That session opened up ‘Pandora’s box’ both within him and our relationship. Suddenly he was questioning me, my process and himself. He had a channeled reading with a trusted Psychic that confirmed we were in fact, soulmates. He let me listen to the recording, it was both encouraging and scary. Scary because the information was accurate and filled with a level of responsibility I wasn’t ready for. The reading allowed us to rebalance and recalibrate.
We worked through the initial fears that were coming up for both of us. The next couple of months, were filled with similar Monday’s. Each time we uncovered fears, we each had to stretch, struggle through uncomfortable emotions. We were being pushed, pulled and prodded to grow beyond our fears. While gaining a sense of acceptance for the first time in our lives, we were being put through the paces.
Through our struggles, people from our outer circle were presenting challenging energy. At times, I felt insecure and untrusting. Our egos were being triggered by fear, real or perceived. “Monday” was a cycle of fear and blame that ultimately turned into a process of healing for both of us. We were learning how to process together. His style of dealing with issues is to process verbally, out loud. Mine is to process through writing, journaling my thoughts and feelings until I have an understanding of it all. Our styles of processing were working against the other. Through conscious communication, we were able to create a new style of processing that worked for both of us. With Loren’s incredible ability to coach me through my resistance to change, I was able to communicate with him in a new way. We both shifted to a style that is both independent and unified. I had to learn how to listen without fear. I also learned how to express my fears and emotions without placing blame. We both learned how to communicate from a place of self-responsibility and vulnerability. As we navigate releasing our past and creating a new future together, we are experiencing growth in every part of our lives. I’ve recognized places where my Ego, the wounded inner child was more than happy to engage. The work I’ve done because of this relationship is worth every moment of discomfort. We never grow when we are comfortable. Discomfort is a powerful motivator to face our inner demons or issues.
Each time we overcome another trial, we are becoming more connected. I can’t say that I’m completely fearless or secure when we are apart. What I can say is, we when are together, be it on the phone or in person, all fear disappears. The feeling of “home” continues as does our other-wordly experiences. We are developing more telepathic connection. I believe that as we deepen our understanding of this type of relationship, we are shining a powerful light that allow others to sense God. When two people unite in a divine way, the spark of the Creator reverberates throughout the Universe. We are shining a light into the world that spreads the Creator’s light into the dark recesses of others. Love is an intense vibration of perfection, possibility and creation.
While my proverbial “butt” was sore in the midst of lessons, I am standing in the strongest place I’ve ever known. Having someone love, recognize and see you for who you truly are, is the most powerful elixir on earth. When you experience a soulmate, expect to be changed. Through the lessons you endure, the rewards are the greatest you can imagine. Soulmate love transcends fear and ego. It creates internal shifts that shine the light on everything not in alignment with God’s pure love. Communicate with your soulmate openly and honestly. It is through that openness that you will reconnect with your true self. While some soulmates are meant for lessons and growth, “the one” true love will not only trigger lessons, will overcome those lessons with you. The connection between you will be stronger than anything you’ve ever experienced. There is a knowing that binds your hearts and souls in a love so pure, nothing can compare.
Loren is planning his own blog post about his experience. He’s had an amazing spiritual journey which lends itself to his counseling practice. His ability to help people with stage of life crisis is incredible. Follow him on Facebook and learn about this journey from his perspective.
Until next time, Be Blessed! ~ Bernadette
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