I've heard this cliché' for so long, being that teacher to a lot of people. I prayed for a teacher for many years and believed I didn't have one. Sure I read, studied and constantly journaled, what I didn't realize is that I had thousands of teachers daily. Coworkers, traffic and endless litany of boyfriends cycling through my life teaching me lessons about myself. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize those things as teachers.
Fast forward to 2015. I met my soul mate last year. He's amazing, he's spiritual and he's a Sagittarius just like me. We hit it off instantly, talking for hours about every topic. As our bond grew, so did the comfort to express our life lessons. My boyfriend was really passionate, open and vocal. He almost immediately began pointing out to me how I needed to humble myself and ego. I went through instantaneous reaction asking questions like “What? Who are you, are you kidding? I'm successful, I've run a psychic business for over 15 years, raised 2 kids alone, built a huge house. What makes you the expert in my life?”
My boyfriend insisted I couldn't see my own blind spots. He communicated how he could see my walls that were keeping me from being authentic, vulnerable and open. Sure I had a great connection to Spirit, my clients loved me, but I needed to see how I lived much like an island. I never allowed others to help me yet I helped everyone, all the time. To say I was resistant is an understatement.
Months passed before I hit my knees in a plea to the Universe to help me. Suddenly my health was tenuous, my relationship with him was strained and my business hit bottom. OMG! Was he right? Did I have walls up? Am I stuck in my ego? Why all of a sudden has everything in my world flipped upside down? Is it because I am focused on lack and not abundance? Nothing in my toolbox was helping me make headway in shifting out of these problems I was experiencing. Like so many of my clients, I found myself drowning financially, emotionally, mentally and worst, my Leukemia returned along with the effects of ignoring an intestinal tumor that had grown to the size of a softball.
Life came to a screeching halt. Through a series of strange synchronizations, natural medicines and people began appearing in my life to help with my health issues. Ah, breathe, relief is found. I thought surely that is what has caused all this B.S., wrong again. As I tackled my glaring health crisis, I asked Spirit to show me the root cause, I asked the “What caused this cancer inside me to grow, to remain an issue?”
In what appeared to be a 48 hour mental/emotional crisis on the outside, was exactly the answer I was searching for. Asking that one question unleashed a torrent of suppressed childhood memories, failed relationships and fears that I had no idea I was carrying. After using ho' oponopono an ancient Hawaiian healing technique, along with EFT/Tapping and an entire journal, I experienced what some would call a spiritual catharsis. These old buried issues needed to surface for me to forgive, release and heal. I spent another 48 hours clearing the issues, asking for forgiveness from the Divine and forgiving others for the abuse they ignorantly inflicted upon me. I took responsibility for creating that abuse from them. Whoa, that was hard!
In the end, I am now able to express myself from the heart in a more authentic, vulnerable way. Suddenly, my facebook posts are getting responses from people relating to the truth of them. I'm not trying to do anything, I am simply being me. Business has picked up, my mind is calm, my emotions peaceful and my health is improving. While I was searching for a teacher, I was unable to see the many teachers on my path. Every reaction, every tantrum, each frustration, were teaching all along, I just wasn't getting the lessons or doing the homework.
The questions I asked myself are questions anyone can use to find underlying, self destructive issues in their own lives. It's not always that easy, sometimes we need outside help. So if you are ready for change and growth, here's some things you can ask yourself:
· What are the patterns in my relationships?
· What triggers an emotional reaction within me?
· What do I hide from people?
· What do I judge in others?
As you recognize things within yourself, you have power to change your life and experience.
When you do the work to face those scary demons hiding in your mind, slay them and watch life unfold in a more miraculous, joyful way than ever before. Before long, love within you flows, people are more open, giving and honest with you too. Money flows easily and you have more energy to enjoy life. Whenever we change ourselves, we are elevated, ever evolving to a place of clean connection to All That Is and life is perfect.
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